mental health

June Status Update

Not the usual birthday month.

Beach Day at Brora

At the beginning of the month my friends and I travelled en masse to Brora, and had a meet up at the award winning beach just outside of town. After a truly awful global pandemic and accompanying lockdown this was our first big group meet in a year and a half, with lots to catch up on. Sun screen, snacks, shorts, and a chipper takeaway afterwards, it was great seeing everyone, and genuinely the best day I’ve had in ages. Lots of love, lots of good feels, lots of positive endorphins. One of my big epiphanies last year in lockdown was the importance in my life of friends, and seeing everyone so suddenly, at once, really reinforced that. Very thankful. The week after, I went to head back to Brora once more, but we ended up at Golspie Big Burn instead.

A Quiet Place and A Quiet Place Part II

For my birthday this month, in place of a big party with friends, I only had one other request than the walk at Golspie; a cinema trip. A Quiet Place Part II was a film I’d been waiting to see since March last year, and after thoroughly enjoying it’s predecessor at home, it was one of the big films I really wanted to see live in the cinema. Trusted film critic Mark Kermode frequently talks about the audience tension and atmosphere in showings of the original, and I definitely feel that was replicated with the sequel, at Merlin Thurso. Narratively I feel like the sequel misses some of the clear focus of it’s predecessor and feels looser. It is excellent in different ways however; changing protagonist, continuing a longer plot, and peeling back the layers on a fictional world already established. I definitely found it just as tense. After two short films I’ve found myself incredibly invested in the outcomes of the characters- I’d appreciate a third film if it happened but also just as happy to have it wrapped up here. Eitherway, John Krasinski has done really good work with the series, and I really cant wait to see what he does next.

The Birds

Ailish’s birthday was mostly ruined on account of a) continued lockdown and social restrictions, and b) the story below this one. Amongst other things, I got her a Bird Feeling Station, and after some front garden rearrangements, we installed it near the front door. This took a few days to get going but over the month we’ve had numerous visitors, with at least 20 chirpers present at one point. So many birds! We have now had Dunnocks, House Sparrows, Starlings, A crow, and the most spooked pair of Collared Doves I’ve ever seen. It sounds stupid, but this was all incredibly rewarding and weirdly fascinating- I LOVE WATCHING THEM! Feeding the birds outside and spying on them, I am now the oldest I’ve ever been, I am very aware of this.

Covid Positive

The month ended with this bombshell. After a coworker had a recurring cough and a whirlwind of subsequent days -involving countless negative lateral flow tests and a sore throat like glass- I tested positive. This was incredibly jarring, I spent so long scared of something possibly happening, and then it just did. I didn’t panic as such, but I remember feeling distinctly worried about what would come next, and just accepting it. There was lots of days in bed, and while I felt run down as hell it’s only looking back now that I stop and realise how bad it actually was. Lots of sleep, lots of sweat, and losing my voice for a bit of it. I’m thankfully getting over it now and recovering more and more each day, getting strong, and back to where I was.

This month marks the one year anniversary of these status updates. Born last year out of both the whole nasty global pandemic business and deactivating Facebook, writing monthly status updates has been a great way to reflect, pass time, and check in remotely. I’m not sure how fully enjoyable these posts -or even this blog- are but it’s something I’m looking to continue doing as a kind of go-to centre point for anything and everything I’m upto. It’s been great breaking down habits and activities into months, as seasons change and mental health varies. If these posts are interesting, enjoyable, or helpful in any way, please let me know.

Onwards and upwards!

March Status Update

March was…

As The Crow Flies (working title)

Inspiration struck! Earlier this month I had an idea to run a small week-long RPG over messages in a Choose Your Own Adventure style, and I spent a few days writing it all up. Some paths work a lot better than others narratively and it’s mostly finished…but it’s something that I really want to develop further! At just under 3000 words it’s kind of taken on a life of it’s own, BUT I love that, and I’m really excited to continue with it, either in it’s current format or something else entirely.

Wandavision

After pretty much an entire year of no cinema trips or superhero films, Wandavision releasing recently on Disney+ was an unexpected treat. Both ‘Scarlett Witch’ and Vision have been notoriously under-utilised in the Avengers and wider Marvel Cinematic Universe films so I really enjoyed this six hour piece. It was incredibly satisfying having this to look forward to and theorise about each week, and I loved watching it progress into a great mystery that builds and subsequently unravels in nine episodes, tinged with love, grief, life, and existentialism. A superb experiment that finally gave emotional resonance and character moments to a MCU that’s mostly without. A lot better than I anticipated!

Building and Streaming Lego Medieval Blacksmith 21325

This month I continued building the new Lego Medieval Blacksmith 21325 set and streaming progress over on my Twitch channel. The set is incredibly detailed and makes a great display piece and I had lots of fun building it with all the new bricks and techniques used. Streaming the build was a bit of an interesting one -people actually watched!- and I enjoyed nattering on about Lego history and pieces. It definitely gave me a new appreciation for the hard work that streaming requires, but I don’t think it’s something I can commit to regularly. Hard work! I recorded all the video and trimmed all 7 hours into a time-lapsed 25 minutes, but without audio -and still too long?- I’ve yet to upload. This might be something that gets finished and uploaded online or I might honestly just keep for myself as a memento. Streaming may be something I take-up every so often.

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Big Decisions

With a disastrous February, I re-evaluated quite a bit. After a lot of consideration I came to the difficult decision of withdrawing from my Post-Graduate study. This was really hard to do but came down to ultimately being frazzled from full-time work, winter mental stuff, and continued pandemic exhaustion. I really enjoyed what I was studying but was always scraping by each week by only studying the absolute minimum and skipping lots of stuff- I really wasn’t able to give the materials the time, energy, or love that it needed. I would have much preferred spending more time on it, or having the time in the first place. So i’m annoyed at that but will pick it up again at a better time, in a few years or even later in life. The positive effects of that decision however have been immediate. Less stress, more relaxing, oysters of free time, and honestly just a sunnier outlook. I’m not griefing myself the same about sitting doing nothing or not working. It’s a good feeling.

April is…

looking promising! Next month I want to start work on a new Lego project, play lots of games, and if everything goes to plan, get back to normal and have more frequent meets and meals with friends. Fingers crossed!

February Status Update

February is the shortest month of the year and went by, as expected, suitably fast. This month was a bit of a struggle with life feeling A LOT right now, so I’m going to change the post format up this month and just reel off some of the stuff that happened. The end of the month is here a lot sooner than I’m ready for it!

  • I finally completed my Lego Castle MOC, posted the pics here, and really promoted it pretty heavily across all my social media channels. I love how well it came out and it looks really great finished- much better than I ever could’ve hoped for. It’s done really well online and lots of people have liked, commented, and loved it, and that’s a nice feeling. It’s been built to display at Lego exhibitions, but I’ll be making and posting a video of the Castle in the meantime soonish.

  • This month I joined my *third* ongoing Dungeons & Dragons campaign, jumping into a new party with a new DM. Already playing as Henk the Half-Orc Barbarian Dentist and Panwick the Cunning Halfling Heist-burgular in my other games, I’m now also playing as Medarin Dunshield; a stoic Paladin with backstory tragedy travelling to Icewind Dale to vanquish great evil. All games feel greatly different tonally and I really like that. More fantasy escapism please!

  • I started building Lego 21325 Medieval Blacksmith this month! This was a post-xmas lockdown treat that I bought for myself and I’m currently building it now…

  • …live on Twitch! This is something I enjoyed doing a lot more than I thought I would and it was good to just sit and talk about Lego for two whole hours. Strangely therapeutic! I’m aiming to build every sunday, you can follow along at twitch.tv/rditr

  • I started studying properly -after registering last month- and I am now a History and Archaeology student! For the most part I am enjoying studying again, but it has been difficult jumping in head first and trying to adapt to the pace of it. There’s a lot of reading, a lot of writing, and then even more additional reading if there’s time or energy left. I’ve found myself a bit overwhelmed with it at times but hopefully this all balances out as the weeks progress.

  • Winter was winter (cold with snow), work was work (busy with reports), and lockdown was lockdown (exhausting with emptiness).

I’ve been having a lot of problems balancing everything this month and it’s been a big reccuring problem for me. Winter, work, and continued lockdown in particular have really made the easy tasks feel quite hard, and while I want to do so much in the evenings and weekends, the energy, time, and enthusiasm really isn’t there. A constant big conflict of “what I need to do” VS “what I want to do” VS “what i’m going to do instead”, and the latter is, as the above; more D&D, Lego stuff, and big evenings just playing The Sims. In March I’m hopeful everything will slow down a little and I can get back on track with anything I need to do. On that list “RELAX” has a big line underneath it.

January Status Update

After the excitement, fun, and just mega relaxing of Xmas and New Year, January has been for the most part a long uneventful month. Lockdown is infinite, work is forever, weekends are my time. After setting some resolutions and goals for the year ahead, January has been a month of forming new habits and behaviours.

With long nights and more time inside, boardgames were great distractions. This month Ailish and I started playing Ticket to Ride: Europe, after getting it for Xmas a few weeks previously. The Ticket To Ride series is something I’ve been aware of for a few years now, but this was my first time playing any of them in a series now spanning the last 16 years. Players take turns bulding trainlines and transport networks across a map, scoring for objectives and route length with coloured carriage meeples and card drafting. I’m mostly indifferent to trains but I missed travelling so much last year, so it was fun plotting journeys across a map and visiting different capitals. We both liked the game a lot (and scored highly!) so this one is definitely a keeper, and game nights in general are something we’re wanting to do more regularly. It will definitely be getting played more!

Last year I watched 141 films in, around, and after the initial lockdown and had a great time doing it. Seven starred Michael Caine, six with Daniel Craig, and five directed by Christopher Nolan. Of my twenty five most watched actors that year only one -Morgan Freeman- wasn’t white(!), and of the sixteen directors, only one again stands out- Taika Waititi. Going in to this year I wanted to watch things more culturally and gender diverse instead of just distinctly and predominantly white male. This is a longer goal, but this month I watched the excellent anthology series Small Axe by director Steve McQueen. The five stories individually show different aspects of the culture, segregation, and racism of London’s West Indian community between 1960-1980 and combine to paint a bigger unique picture. All the films have a distinctive voice and there is a very real sense of history and documentary within each film. It feels and looks real, because, well, these are stories that really happened, and Steven McQueen is great at capturing that. It’s very well done, and I’m on board to follow whatever he does next.

One of my other big resolutions for the year was to do more creative writing! This month I started on a short story, wrote a synopsis for something bigger that’s been rattling around for a while, and entered a short 50 word contest. A great start, but as the month went on things changed pretty abruptly and it’s not something I’m going to be able to prioritise for now…because I’m studying again! After some really nasty existentialism and doubt last year I felt I wanted to actually do something, and I’m now enrolled doing postgraduate History and Archaeology of the Highlands and Islands through part-time distance-learning. I woke up and just jumped in! This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a few years now and while I continue to doubt if I’m clever, young, or have enough time to do it succesfully, I’m looking forward to the challenge. The opening module lasts from now until May, giving me a break before continuing again with the next one after the summer. This is something I’m hoping to focus on a lot this year and while it’s worrying I’ll have less free time, it’s exciting knowing that something bigger is happening instead.

With a Covid_19 vaccination still months away for me even with good intentions 2021 is probably going to be a difficult year again. I want to be out, seeing people, having dinners, and travelling, and none of that will probably be possible again for a while. It’s reassuring however, if the world does go fully tits up again, it means I have some goals and habits, plans and resolutions to keep me ticking over. Less uncertainty please.

December Status Update

With most of the year in tatters, new strains of virus, and further lockdowns, things weren’t looking too optimistic for the end of the year. November went by quickly, but doubly so for December; a month full of dark mornings, darker afternoons, and, well, dark days every week to be honest, with little breaks for good weather or activities outside the house.

A week before mainland Scotland entered lockdown again (or “Tier 4”-the same thing really) we managed to escape to the cinema again for one last big film of the year, and watched Wonder Woman 1984. As with Tenet earlier in the year the experience was great, with huge visuals, epic sound, and great atmosphere. I’ve only been to the cinema five times this year and while the two afore-mentioned films weren’t always perfect, I really missed cinemas this year! I miss doing things in general if I’m honest! I’ve missed seeing people, and the same weekend as Wonder Woman 1984 I got to catch up with lots of friends for two separate Secret Santa lunch gift exchanges. As with cinema trips both lunches make up only a handful of meals I’ve had with friends this year, and after the year being what it has it was great seeing so many people for the first time in ages, safely. Lots of in-jokes, and food, and nerd talk, and great gifts too, from people that I’ve relied and depended on a lot this year. Even with masks and distancing, everything that weekend felt incredibly…normal- a fantastic mid-way relief from winter.

Until Xmas Eve, and maybe even the day itself I hadn’t been feeling very festive at all, so our Xmas tree went up relatively early in December, and there was always lots of films on to try and chase or replicate that feeling. Some worked better than others. Household and family-mixing was advised against, so after a busy social weekend the weekend before, Xmas this year was just my partner, our dog, and I, and this was really great. The usual amount of food, drink, and bad films were all there, and everything was just. so. relaxed. It was fantastic switching off from everything outside the house and inside my head for a while, and even without the festivities this would’ve been more than enough. No appointments! Nowhere to be! No social arrangements! Just a few days of long-needed lazy off-mode indulgence and time spent as a family.

There were gifts too! An excellent selection of books I’m now planning for a similar reading challenge to this year’s, new boardgames to play, and clothes too. The best present was the most unexpected: this year I was fortunate enough to unwrap an actual velociraptor tooth gifted by my partner. What the fuck! A 700-million year old tooth that’s now in the house and on the bookshelf, and undoubtedly one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I still can’t believe it to be honest.

Xmas and year-end are a great time for giving, spending time with loved ones, and reflecting. This year I’m incredibly thankful for anyone that’s suffered my moaning, moodswings, or mental disasters, and I really appreciate anyone this year that has listened. As everything outside in 2020 got harder I’ve spent a lot more time inside and in my head, and video-chats, online D&D, and being here, blogging, has helped me vent accordingly. Even if or when things “go back to normal” I really want to keep all of this up. 2020 has been an absolute shitter, but maybe some things can stay.

November Status Update

November -like 2020 as a whole- went by sooo quickly; what a short month! This month I bought a Playstation 5 and that’s gone off with a lot of my time (separate post about the games soon?) along with work and moping, but there’s a few specific days worth mentioning from the month too.

With plenty of films either delayed or postponed due to 2020 hell my local cinema has been great at bringing back and showing older titles. Earlier this month we went to see the original Jurassic Park in the cinema, and this was probably one of my favourite cinema trips in recent memory- a joy finally getting to see it on the big screen. As a child I was well aware of the film and hype, but after missing in the cinema initially I was forever relegated to watching it on tv/vhs/dvd et al. Jurassic Park is a film i’m incredibly fond of -and even one that I had already rewatched earlier this year- so watching it again in the cinema was an embarassingly comfortable, reassuring, and rewarding experience: positive endorphins only. The film has aged beautifully- dinosaurs are scary, set-pieces are fun, and the soundtrack that accompanies is easily John Williams best, all heightened in that cinema screen setting. The film is fun and full of heart throughout- I can safely say it’s one of my favourite films.

Socialising this year has largely been online with voice chats and videocalls, with piss-ups and fantasy roleplaying in between, but this month we managed to get out and attend a big birthday dinner with most of my friends present. Lockdowns, social-distancing, and self-isolation are all terms I don’t think I’ll ever have the benefit of forgetting, but against all odds I managed to have a ‘night out’ with 20 people (safely) and it was great getting to catch up with so many people (safely) for the first time in months. 2020 has been a big year of changing habits and no contact so I was drained afterwards, but the night will probably stand out quite a bit in terms of individual days for the year. I had fish for dinner, it was great! Everything at the moment generally feels a bit samey or blurs together, and I still cant believe it’s December tomorrow, but it’s good to know that as far as global pandemics go we’re hopefully coming out of it. Hopefully.

Less optimistically, I went running at the weekend for the first time since April and while I still have daily leg ache (in my muscles?) from earlier this year I was naivé and gave it a shot. On an early Saturday morning I got my running gear on and went to the nearby riverside to meet a friend and see how we got on. My pacing and breathing was good and I managed just over 4km with stops and starts quite easily. It was great being out on the paths and moving again, but I was sore as hell the remainder of the afternoon -the next day even worse- and reminded pretty harshly that I’m still mysteriously injured and aching. This one got to me- more doctor appointments before I try anything stupid like that again.

It’s hard to believe that next month is December and that the year is almost over. While aspirations and enthusiasm are quite low there’s a few things I’m planning to finish creatively before year end or as close to as I can manage. Fingers crossed there’s better stuff to report next month!

2020 Was Pretty Bad So I Treated Myself

With 2020 continuing to be an absolute disaster culturally, politically, and more importantly personally, It’s been more important than ever to find ideas and activities to keep happy. Absolutely everything has changed in some way, and I’ve found the continued sudden stagnations and resets quite difficult if I’m honest. I might have mentioned this quite a bit already. Lets just write the year off and pretend it never happened?

With that in mind -and with all previous lookingforwards delayed or cancelled- back in August I decided to proper treat myself and preorder a Sony Playstation 5. Since that preorder went off it’s been my go-to calendar excitement, and incredibly fulfilling having something to look forward to daily. It’s perhaps a purchase sooner than necessary: gaming backlogs grow and are at this point forever, but the allure of shiny new boxes that play shiny new games is an insatiably maddening one, so here we are! After 27 years of playing videogames and having that as an interest I get my first “day one” console! I’m only a few hours in and still really need to play things properly but so far I love every bit of it. I have the next few days off, so while my birthday plans changed, my Denmark holiday was cancelled, and all those weddings I was hoping to attend were delayed, this is hopefully going to make up a little for some of the previous inconveniences of 2020. I feel better already…

September Status Update

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September was a month of sciatic nerves, Stephen King, a staycation, and SO MUCH Fargo.

A lot can change in a year, 2020 is a BIG indication of that. This time last year I raised £350 for MFR Cash for Kids by running 5K a day for the whole of September, and it was one of the hardest, silliest, but ultimately one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. This year I was planning doing the same, but after hurting my ankle (and subsequently, leg) during Lockdown I haven’t been running for the majority of 2020. I really miss that! I miss not being in pain the whole time! A few doctor and physio appointments this month revealed my leg pain is actually “sciatic irritation due to postural changes”. What is that? Basically months of staying at home slouching playing games and hunching over webcams have actually injured me. Being lazy actually hurt me. With diagnosis hopefully complete I’ve since been stretching, more active, and most importantly, more focussed on my posture for perhaps…the first time in my life. It’s made a difference, and the last few weeks have seen a big change in pain reduction and how sore I am- things are actually getting better. I might be able to get running again just in time for a season full of cold northern winds and rainstorms. Yay?

After reading and enjoying Stephen King’s On Writing last month, this month I decided to revisit the author properly for the first time in some while, and eagerly jumped-in to Pet Sematary. The title had always sidestepped me for whatever reason, so returning to some previously-missed dark Stephen King horror was always going to be rewarding and comforting in the weirdest possible sense. I was ready. There’s an audiobook version narrated by Dexter’s Michael C. Hall and this is something I listened to over a week and a bit, completely engrossed, disturbed, chilled, and just absolutely revelling in it if I’m honest. I’ve been a bit up and down with audiobooks previously, but the narration here is absolutely incredible, and Hall completely sells the dark, twisted, harrowing tale, while frequently ramping up tension and absolute dread. I’m an audiobok convert! I need to do a post of my favourite books at some point, and while this would probably not quite get ranked, Pet Sematary is definitely in my top 3 from Stephen King. Entertainment Weekly have a great retroactive piece on the book (and films). It’s quite spoilery but it’s worth a read if you’ve finished it!

Something that had equally eluded me previously was the film Fargo. Released in 1996, I watched the film a whole 22 years later in 2018 and loved it when I did finally get round to it. This month I’ve done something similar with the spin-off tv series of the same name, but thankfully only 6 years late this time. It’s absolutey brilliant and something that really hooked me this month. The tv series is mostly separate from the film with each season being an anthology piece with their own stories and characters. The first season feels a lot like a spiritual sequel that builds on the film’s tropes but it gives characters and scenarios more time to mature. It’s easily was one of the best things I’ve ever watched on tv…or it was, until I then watched the second season. Season 2 is a sad, tragic, and beautiful 10-parter about people misunderstanding the hell out of each other, being in a watershed moment in history, and having to brace for future change while dealing with much bigger concepts. I feel like I’m under-selling; it’s incredibly accomplished, and always just so much more than standard cop v murder case fare. The third season is equally as bold and brave, and existentially questions the meaning of it’s own stories and characters and cause and effect logic. All three seasons are beautifully profound. Staggeringly so. I honestly wish I could watch them all for the first time again but encourage anyone reading to check them out.

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This month I’ve been back at work, in daily routine, doing the house chores, and everything feels mostly back to normal, at least on a surface level. After having to cancel both holidays and guesting at weddings earlier this year -and with not much event-wise on the horizon- Ailish and I decided to have a weekend break in Inverness and nearby Nairn. We’re just home. We visited Loch Ness, went shopping, ate great food, and honestly this was just a weekend that I was needing for too long- It’s great to get a change in scenery, switch off, and honestly just relax for a few days. I will do an actual longer post on our Loch Ness trip later- there’s some initial photos up on my Instagram.

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Next month things are becoming quieter, and slowing down again as the weather gets colder. It’s hard to believe that it will be October already after it feels like the year has even to get started, a year that really just didnt seem to happen at all. Coming home from work, locking the door, and getting the blankets, that’s what autumn and winter is all about, at least thats what I’m hoping. It’s going to be a great time to catch up with lots of games and books!

August Status Update

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August was a month of books, boardgames, and “back to normal”.

I’ve been posting here a lot less than what I’d like to recently, and the main reason for that is that things are finally going “back to normal”. With lockdown fully eased in Scotland (wear your damn mask please), shops are open, schools are open, and I’m now back at work, five days a week. It’s good to get out of the house and do things a bit more regularly again, but the whole thing so far feels a lot like a dream: honestly, where the hell have the last few months gone? I’m finding the days having a similar effect, and after doing not much for so long it’s bizarre suddenly having responsibility, appointments, and an actual sense of time again. Night times are a crazy spin of dinner, TV, bed, and days are frequently over before they feel as if they’ve even begun, my energy levels mysteriously depleted. I’m hoping this will all balance out soon.

With businesses, places, and venues opening back up, this month I went for a few lunches, got a haircut, went shopping, and even later in the month, went to the cinema. The first outing was on a sunny Sunday to Forse of Nature, where we sat outside to eat, sat on the (sometimes wet) grass, and had a wander round the grounds. Lunch and company were great, we saw ducks, and I may have fallen in a ditch in the woods, but the best feeling about it all was just how relaxed and normal everything felt- some very long overdue reassurance for me and my doom mentality the last few months. Equally great was getting to drive to Inverness and go shopping later in the month, buying lots of books, having lunch, visiting friends and then heading home. It feels good to break up things again with such days, but arrows, facemasks, and distancing in shops are of course a constant reminder that things aren’t perfect quite yet, and might not be for a while.

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This month -and year, if i’m honest- I’ve been trying to read a lot more than what I would normally. After reading the first in the His Dark Materials trilogy late last year -Northern Lights- this month I jumped into the follow-up The Subtle Knife. Against consensus, I found the first book in the series as just okay, but could see the enormous potential of both the world and the series. The second book opens up a lot faster and vastly expands the world(s) of the series by introducing some really great characters and concepts from the outset. With initial world-building and introductions from the previous book out of the way I far preferred it’s pacing and focus enormously, and got through it with enthusiasm quite quickly. The third and final book in the trilogy The Amber Spyglass which i’m reading now expands with possibility and wonder, but so far it’s taking me a lot longer to get through. The other book I read this month was On Writing by Stephen King, and after reading plentiful amounts of his work over the years, I found this incredibly rewarding. There’s a lot of good advice in here for aspiring story tellers -I have post-it notes on pages to prove it- but I far preferred the more autobiographical sections and passages, which were often just as interesting.

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In August I continued playing in two Dungeons and Dragons campaigns with my two very different characters. Panwick the Pilfer is an agile and sneaky heist Halfling extraordinaire trying to stay alive while Henk is a Half-Orc Barbarian who often misses the point and lacks subtlety. I enjoy both characters and games, and next month i’m looking into starting some solo rpgs and journalling on the side, for even further escapism. With us largely house bound these last few months there’s been frequent online D&D sessions but my partner and I have been playing lots of boardgames too. This month I bought Santa Monica for us to play together, and initial impressions are pretty good. The game is an easy breezy card drafing operation where you build a beach front and then attract tourists to gain victory points, mini engine-builder style. We need to play more and especially as part of a group but so far I can safely say I LOVE THE THEME AND ART SO MUCH.

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While I know lockdown, and Covid, and 2020 are all far from over it’s good to be feeling a lot better about things, and optimism is something I’m feeling a bit more now both mentally and physically. The year, and holiday, and all the weddings we were going to and so much more are written off, but I’m feeling creative and ambitious and have plenty of ideas and projects lined up for the coming months and winter ahead. It’s time to try and get things back on track!

August Links

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Some interesting stories, thoughts, and ideas i’ve discovered throughout August, rounded-up.

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Microplastics have moved into virtually every crevice on Earth - this sounds like a horrible nasty plot from a Doctor Who episode, but it’s actually happening right now (and for a while obv given findings), under our noses. Absolutely terrifying stuff.

The Unravelling of America - this is an immensely fascinating read by anthropologist Wade Davis on the formation of the United States, the history there-of, and it’s place now in a post-pandemic post-truth world stage. America now is where it’s been heading for a long time, and it’s a fall that’s happening real-time. Of note, “Trump is less the cause of America’s decline than a product of its descent”. Really recommend giving this a read.

‘We Are the Guinea Pigs’: Hollywood Restarts Its Blockbuster Machine - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is probably one of the worst sequels in a while, but it’s interesting reading about the development and filming of it’s upcoming follow-up, and how they’re committed to continue filming safely, despite that whole 2020 Global Pandemic thing.

Fall Guys is Pure Saturday Evening Television After a hundred different first-person shooters, third-person shooters, and even Tetris, the Battle Royale genre finally gets the game it was invented for- I played it for a whole saturday night this month, LOTS of fun.

Bella Mackie: Is It Really A Bad Idea To Give Into Rose-Tinted Nostalgia Right Now? - I can relate to this so much, particularly about “the good old days”, taking things for granted, and honestly, just having happier times in general. 2020 has been incredibly awful- this year more than any other has just made me thankful for everything I do have.

The Matrix as a Trans Allegory - I haven’t seen The Matrix in a decade plus, but here’s a great Twitter thread by Netflix breaking down the connection between the cyber sci-fi action film and some of the transgender themes that it contains, compiling lots of links to supporting pieces in the process. Rewatch due soon.

What Dungeons and Dragons Taught Me About Politics - D&D is a game all about rolling for success, correct dialogue choices, and working well as a party, so this is an apt comparison. Travelling to Barnard Castle and rolling for an Intelligence Saving Throw isn’t something I remember in my adventure, however…

Get Happier by Rereading Your Favourite Books from Childhood - 2020 has been hellish. I’ve still got a massive backlog of both children and now adult books to catch up-on, but dipping in to familiar favourites in any media can be comforting. I rewatched a lot of my favourite films in lockdown.

Is It Possible To Have A Healthy Relationship With Social Media? - Why is disabling social media or leaving your phone at home so hard to do? I’ve been very guilty of doomscrolling these last few months, and some of these tips really helped me. It’s good to switch off.

Video

“This Is...” A Personal Ode to Going to the Cinema by Matthew Mulcahy/Little White Lies is a lovely short full of cinematic nostalgia and the memories created from cinema trips. I haven’t seen many of the films in the video so my own one would be quite different, but the sentiment here resonated with me a lot.

How a Last of Us Part II Level is Made - The Last of Us Part 2 is probably my game of the year, and narratively, one of my favourite stories ever. This is a great video by the always excellent Game Maker’s Toolkit/Mark Brown examing some of the environmental design and development. [SPOILERS]

The Batman - DC FanDome Teaser - You know, maybe it is time DC branched out a bit with their films and roster of Superheroes, but when there’s still so many possible interesting stories/casting/and set-pieces yet to happen, maybe more Batman isn’t necessarily a bad thing. This trailer really nails the character.

Audio

Kermode on Film: Christopher Nolan Special - my favourite film critic discussing films by my (probably?) favourite film director. This is a big two and a half hour ranking of every film directed by Christopher Nolan with lots of interesting consideration and discussion about each one. My favourite, still, is The Prestige.

2020 Best Of - Just a very loose WIP playlist on Spotify of my favourite music this year so far: i’m going to add stuff as I discover it!

Other

Would You Search Through The Lonely Earth For Me - a one page, one player, journalling rpg, that focusses less on the quest and the adventurer and more on the treasure or artefact itself. I’m hoping to play a lot of solo-RPGs over September to get something creative going, this one is probably going to be the foundation.

Ailpol on Instagram - i’d be remiss if I didn’t link this, but my partner has been working hard and posting a lot of really great art on her instagram recently, go have a look!